i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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