Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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