You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
