my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
