My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize