Girls should come with a carfax report
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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