whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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