Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
