Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
