I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
