i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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