The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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