i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
