if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize