Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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