I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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