Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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