Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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