You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
