I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
