Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
