i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize