love makes seman taste better
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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