have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
