yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize