just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
