Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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