Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
even my farts smell like vagina
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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