Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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