We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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