I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
