i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
