He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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