What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
