I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
