he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I need to sanitize my soul.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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