I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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