I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
