hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
