Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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