i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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