I must be too annoying 4 u.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
