Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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