Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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