Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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