Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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