I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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