My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
