I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I feel like a drive thru vagina
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
