If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize