but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
