You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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