The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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