i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
