Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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