So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
