well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
