Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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