Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
