I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
