And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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