So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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