Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
