Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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