Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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