i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
