i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
