Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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