then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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